“Let’s be honest, open and brave!”
–Robin Korth
Trying To Come To Terms With The Loss Of My Mother
For the past several days my family has been in an uproar of energy, opinions, emails and phone calls about how to care for our aged mother. The care system we’ve had in place is falling apart and we are stumbling, controlling, gut-punching, aching and loving as we struggle with — and amongst ourselves — to find a solution.
This woman who held us as children, nurtured us, bothered us, sometimes belittled us — but always loved us — is no longer fully present within her own life. She cannot take care of herself, make cogent choices or stay within the present moment for long spaces at a time. She is walking, inside-dancing, sleeping, dreaming and remembering herself through this ending time of her life. And we, her six children, are trying to be of service to her in her journey.
We are also trying to come to terms with the already-loss of the full-minded woman who raised us, as we now care for the turning-towards-the-end woman who still holds our mother’s name, resides in her house of 60 years, and has the sometimes pistol-sharp opinions and energy that we knew so well. We sit at the decision point of whether or not our mother should leave her home and go to live in a place that is designed to hold her in these last days and years of her life with safety, consistent care and the companionship of others of her age . . .
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